Helpful Household Hints

In decades past, it was fashionable for vendors of pressure cookers and refrigerators and other wondrous modern conveniences to present the proud new owners with a complimentary recipe booklet or a slim volume of useful tips for the housewife. Testimony to this trend can be found in countless difficult-to-open kitchen drawers the world over. One could also purchase books on the subject without having to buy a fridge or stove, or what-have-you. In such publications one could normally be sure to come across a helpful hint on how to remove beetroot stains from colour garments, and how to make your very own rose water.All well and good. I shall let you into a little secret: I do not starch my aprons. In fact I seldom use one unless the activity in which I am engaged involves lots of flour. The tip, by the way, of cold short pastry rolling better, is true.  Off at a tangent, I was astonished at the surprise expressed by someone who works in the kitchen of the local community centre when she discovered that I made my own short pastry. I was not too disappointed that she showed no interest in the recipe, given my lack of patience for such conversations.

Contrary to the impression I may have given so far, I am not a housewife. I simply run a household without outside help, and occasionally like to bake in order to satisfy my sweet tooth and sudden cravings most often on Sunday afternoons for a massive intake of carbohydrates which goes beyond the banality of bread and jam, homemade or otherwise. The fact that other people may benefit from my baking endeavours is purely coincidental.

I am much more interested in a recent useful discovery regarding superglue.  The kind that normally has XXX or XXXX printed on its tiny tube.  For years I have been plagued with the discomfort of having to type with this glue on my fingertips long after the fix-it job has been completed. The discovery is that prior to getting within spitting distance of the aforementioned tube, one should don rubber gloves – the tight-fitting kind your gynaecologist or dentist uses. Thus prepared, if you accidentally glue your forefinger to your thumb whilst trying to stick your sole to your shoe, you simply remove this pair of disposable gloves and don another (which you have craftily placed within arm’s reach before commencing the glueing operation).  This ensures that your skin remains intact and guarantees typing pleasure immediately after your project is over. Use the same glove removal method if the phone rings and you have to answer it. This ensures continued freedom of  your fingers and has the added advantage of preserving the telephone instrument and preventing the jitters whilst on the telephone. Of course, I shall refrain from reminding active gluers that you always make sure you have two tubes of superglue to hand. Because one is never enough.

I am compelled at this juncture to give the following advice to those of you thinking of using a small chain saw: make sure your jeans cover your boots completely. This prevents sawdust from collecting on your socks. To remove sawdust from your socks, an ordinary bathroom scrubbing brush will do the trick. Stubborn bits can be removed with your glue-free fingers.  Now, if I had actually been a good housewife, and read all those helpful hints, I would have known that already.

I have no easy remedy for removing sock fluff from scrubbing brushes.

These are not my socks.

Allison

My thanks for this post go to a friend who made me laugh by giving a demonstration on the complexities of reading with spectacles and sipping wine at the same time without removing her eyes from the book.

Note: the word or phrase in bold appeared in my previous blog.