We have forgotten about swine ‘flu

We have forgotten about swine ‘flu,
But you can still ruin your lovely soft hands
With those harsh products which were supposed
To protect even the most lacksadaisical washers
From the dreaded contagion of that piggy virus.
This is why we all readily recognise this sign:


If you are one of those people who suffers from a sticky keyboard, I suggest you follow the advice given graphically above.

If, like me, your sanity hangs in the balance when deprived of access to a clean basin, running water, soap, scrubbing brush and a freshly laundered towel, then you have no need for this sign, which looks as if it were drawn by a careful eight-year-old.

I do need to clean my keyboard from time to time on account of all that airborne dust, for which I have a bright turquoise, soft nylon brush housed in a plastic casing conveniently labelled “Dust Brush” lest I forget its purpose.

The thrill of the week comes when I get to use my special cleaning fluid and “micro” cloth –  although the cloth itself is not small – to remove errant pinheads of spittle and fly footprints and such from my laptop screen and keyboard.

The mouse, I understand (purchased recently because its seven-year-old predecessor gave finally gave up the ghost last week) has some magical finish to it which repels the revolting things which reside, despite frequent use of the basin, etc., in the grooves of our fingerprints. I made that last bit up, but the newbie looks so sleek and shiny this last bit of fiction could well be true.

Apart from the “wash your hands” thing, I am quite relaxed – really, I am.


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