One advantage of living a cave-like existence for days on end in a little village in the Algarve (see previous post) is that eventually, one has to visit the next town to visit one’s friendly tax department and social security office, have one’s handbag repaired before another year goes by, and get essential supplies – like passport photos, a colour inkjet printer cartridge, and food.
Even though I had the sense that I was going backwards in time on account of my ticket number at the tax office being B005I and the one at my subsequent visit to social security being B0050, I shall skip straight to the food.
Had I taken my spectacles into the supermarket with me, I might not have purchased something which came with a free plastic container with a fetching pink lid and at a reasonable, special-offer price reserved for new products. With my specs on, I would have discovered prior to purchase that the two tuna burgers which promised to be easy to cook and ready in two minutes were produced in Thailand for a Portuguese company.
The packaging tells me that the contents include all the vitamins and minerals also purportedly found in the average box of cornflakes, It has a Green Dot and SAFE quality seal emblazoned on the reverse, and even tells me in which colour recycle bin to dispose of this stunning piece of retail art at any time before 2 October 2015, when the product – which does not require refrigeration – will no longer be safe to eat.
Earlier on this evening, I decided that this quick meal was a precise match with my desire to prepare food. I sat down on the sofa near the light with the package in my hand and my specs on my nose. Having discovered the secrets to preparation, I opened the package.
My immediate reaction upon withdrawing the contents: “Oh, look, João, we have Star Trek food.” The image below illustrates my point:
I decided then (especially after reading the ingredients) to make a small, but creative experiment. The two minutes in the microwave turned into four, and then I switched to the grill function for a further two minutes. Bread, lettuce, tomato, onion and mayo made something which looked appetising. And so it was.
At least I now know in my head, that a small tin of tuna and my home-made beef burger skills can be put to use more effectively the next time I have a hankering for a tuna burger.
We did not drink the wine. I shall keep it for the real thing.